The Pessimism Imperative

Top Eight Easiest Video Games

Some time ago I made a top ten hardest games list on FaceBook, so why not make the opposite. Just gonna give this Vivaldi thing here a try, test out em new blogs. There isn’t as much debate to put in when deciding how easy a video game is, not as much as people think. The important part is, the game has to have been easy. (without codes or exploitable glitches) This is in no particular order, and keep in mind, if there’s some easy ass game out there I didn’t mention, odds are, I didn’t play it. I keep hearing about Terminator Salvation, the Lego games, Kirby Super Star. But I’ve not played any of these, so obviously, I can’t say if they’re easy or not. I actually have played Kirby Super Star, but I remember NOTHING of it, so I can’t really mention anything.

This is based on opinion, and I’m not saying I’m a super good gamer; I was going to make a top ten list, but I can’t find enough games that I would define as ”easy” to make said list. So this list of eight easy games is what I have.

I Spare Parts
It should be noted that in order to finish the game, you absolutely need two players, and the end boss is glitchy. But that does not figure into a difficulty factor, in my opinion. The game was designed for a younger audience than that which I figure into, so that explains that. Short levels, weak enemies, the game treats you like royalty. If you want to find all hidden collectibles, it’s something else entirely, but otherwise, this is easy as hell. It was also my first platinum on the PS3.

II Rhapsody a Musical Adventure
The only time I died in this game is when I did it on purpose. I let the end boss kill me…and it doesn’t even move. It took like three minutes to get my guys killed, too. I started it on the highest difficulty, it was a complete joke. A fun RPG by the makers of Disgaea, the game tests your mettle by finding enemies who can randomly decide to join you after being vanquished. The chances for this are rather small though, and some enemies barely ever appear. But you don’t need any secret party members to beat it, so…I am proud to say I actually found a Siren. This rare ally can only be found in like, the only place in the game you can’t return to once it’s done and you leave.

III Contrast

A puzzle game where you travel in and out of shadows to proceed. The game has many reported bugs and glitches, some of which I’ve experienced, but are easy to get around. Took me three hours to finish, and that included a break for dinner. I’m a trophy whore, so I like going for those. When I was done, I was missing two trophies, and it took me like 22 seconds to get them via chapter select. I admit, I got lucky for one of them, but Christ, the game has pussy ass trophies; jump in pirate chests, die on purpose…some of the trophies, it must also be mentioned, I just got and didn’t even know why. The game is also way too short. WAY too short. To be fair, it’s a PSN game, which means you’ll pay 15 bucks for it, and I got it free when the PS4 came out. These ”smaller” games can be forgiven for this, but I paid six bucks for Hotline Miami, and while I did finish it, I can’t see myself bagging the platinum for this, ever. Gotta add a bit of some challenge, man. I love great graphics and original ideas, but a game is a game, I shouldn’t be able to complete a modern game in three hours.

IV Lollipop Chainsaw

If you’re going for all achievements/trophies, this can be a bit of a job, but just finishing it is pretty easy. The game offers a lot of different combos and stuff, but I found myself relying on the same strategies over and over. I love this game to no end, but I’ve always been a little turned off by games that don’t force you to truly master everything it has to offer. (and I platinumed it) Some of it is tricky at times, and the bosses harken to the old age of gaming when you really need to get a pattern down…but give yourself a week, if less, and you bagged it. Awesome game though, I’d love a sequel. Level 2 is reputed to be the hardest one, but give yourself 20 minutes to learn the patterns, and you have the hardest part of the game down. :/

V Breath of Fire

A grand game to be sure. Loved it. Don’t know what it was about this though. This is an RPG that didn’t force you to follow any standard JRPG rules, that which usually defines them. You just kind of whaled at opposition until it died, it seems that respecting things like fire/ice elements wasn’t very mandatory. And when it was, the pattern you had to get down was so easy to figure out, it was almost insulting. Only boss that gave me trouble was a giant mushroom thing, but that’s only because I thought the game was glitching out at certain points due to what the boss ends up looking like as the fight goes on. The only ”difficult” thing about this boss is that it has so much HP, the fight just never ends. I mean there wasn’t much you had to respect here, and nothing a little grinding couldn’t solve if you found yourself in a tight spot. Also, a town called Romero being overrun by zombies; classic stuff right there.

VI Final Fantasy Mystic Quest

A spin off from the Final Fantasy series, this game was geared towards a younger audience. Training wheels for role playing games, let’s say. The game is long, has a bit of some puzzle solving, (like, pretty much just the Focus Tower) and dungeons that will test your patience…but this is all you really need here. Nothing is difficult, just long and tedious. Just about every RPG I’ve played, I can think of some few parts that gave me trouble, but not with Quest. You can save your progress absolutely anywhere as well, which back then, was a bit of a new thing, and certainly helps with the easy factor. Not a bad game, but plowing through enemies near the end dungeons does become mindless and sleep inducing.

VII Dracula: Resurrection

Some people may not agree with me about this game being easy, but for some reason I blasted through it. It’s a puzzle game with some rather intricate mysteries to solve, but I was able to get into them because it wasn’t pushing blocks around, which I bloody despise. If you’re a fan of the Dracula novel, you’ll find that it actually helps for the answers to some puzzles. (Carfax, Quatre Faces, lol) Being that it’s a puzzle game, there isn’t much action, but what action there is, is ridiculous…enemies just stand there, waiting for you to figure out how to vanquish them. (not that there’s many of them…) I also own Dracula The Last Sanctuary which I thought was much harder, both in terms of puzzle solving and dealing with minions. (which actually moved, or rather, had a time limit thing going, so if you didn’t figure the puzzle out fast enough, you die) ) It’s a damn fantastic game series though, which sticks to the novel pretty faithfully, despite all the unofficial plot twisting.

VIII Ninja Spirit

This is the second video game I’ve beat in my life, and I was a kid then, therefore learning all the rules of traditional gaming, so it was a while before I finished it, and I did struggle. But it counts as an easy game because once you get the patterns down, no one hit death is going to do you in. Once you learn to exploit the bombs, you’ll kill just about every single boss before they’re even done appearing on screen. Just keep throwing them at anything that’s coming and you’ll have killed all challenge. At that point, only platforming stands between you and death, and it’s few and far between. (sept maybe in the last level, but just steer yourself to the left, trust me) This is the kind of game that any seasoned gamer will waste in under an hour, as it’s also very short. Timed myself once, I finished it in like 16 minutes.

While the game has its learning curve and share of threats, it’s nothing that you can’t handle if you’ve been playing games for a while because its patterns and bosses take so little skill to learn. Me struggling with it as a kid doesn’t count, because back then I didn’t even know what a password system was. (not that there’s one in this game, mind you) Excellent game, but had I to pay 60 bucks for this today, I would have been pissed off.

Bonus, Ninja Gaiden Black

Lol jokin bra